For all my Gurls only!

44 BASIC FLIRTING TIPS

1) Be Open - Approach everyone you meet with a smile. Let your face show that you're interested in what people are saying. Let your natural enthusiasm shine through. Look people in the face and show them you are happy to meet them.

2) Be Honest - Nobody likes a phony. People can spot insincere praise and faked interest right away. Just being yourself is your best bet for flirting success. If you are open to others, they will be able to sense it.

3) Be Spontaneous - Don't think too hard about what you're going to say - just really listen to what the other person is saying and let yourself respond naturally. Don't worry about what might happen next - live for the moment! You might not get another chance to talk to the person! So go for it!

4) Smile - You can't hear this often enough! A smile makes you look friendly, confident and approachable. People smile at people who smile! So smile! It's contagious!

5) Make Eye Contact - When talking to a guy, make sure you have good eye contact. You don't have to stare! But don't look all around the room, either, or he'll think you're looking for someone more interesting to hang out with. Let him know with your eyes that he is the person you would most like to be talking to.

6) Listen- You have two ears and one mouth because you should listen twice as much as you speak! Listening is a true art, and the best conversationalists all have great listening skills in common. Your flirting partner will be drawn to you if you master this simple skill. Everyone loves to be listened to.

7) Ask Questions - Show you are interested in what a guy is saying by asking for more details. If he says he plays baseball, ask what position. If he mentions a movie he saw, ask him to tell you more about the story. You get the picture! Asking questions proves you have been listening, and sends the message that you find him interesting. Guys find this very flattering (wouldn't you?).

8) Use Innocent Touch - When talking to a guy, lightly touch his arm when you're making a point or laughing at something he has said. Don't overdo it, just a few times in a conversation is enough to send the message that you like him. If you have chemistry with a guy, he'll figure it out fast just from the touch of your fingertips.

9) Don't Argue - Think Jerry Seinfeld and Elaine Benes, not Mr. And Mrs. Kostanza. Playful banter is fine - it shows off your sense of humor and can help create a bond with a guy you're talking to. But don't try to show off by insisting on your point, or you'll be remembered as "don't date" material.

10) Be Confident - People are drawn to other people who have confidence. Confidence radiates like the sun - others can sense when you have it. It's all about walking with your head held high and knowing that if a guy doesn't respond to your flirting, it's his loss, not yours. Know you are a catch and you'll send that signal to others.

11) Compliment Him - A sincere compliment can go a long way toward making a guy feel good around you. Notice the word "sincere" - don't spread on the flattery like butter, or he'll think you're all talk, or worse, that you say the same thing to everyone. Pick something about him that you can compliment sincerely - try to pick something that's not the most obvious, such as his nice skin or his long eyelashes. These kinds of compliments are the best, because the guy being complimented knows you've really noticed him.

12) Take Compliments Gracefully - How you take a compliment sends a strong signal to guys. The best response is always a simple "Thank you." Don't play yourself down ("Oh no, my hair looks terrible " or "It's not my shirt, I borrowed it"), which only sends the message that you're not worth his time. On the other hand, don't be conceited ("I know, I am really pretty!"), or you'll end up alone admiring your own self.

13) Speak Softly - A neat trick for getting up close with a guy you like is to speak to him quietly, so he'll have to lean into you to listen.

14) Set Yourself Apart - Of course it's much easier to approach a guy when you're surrounded and protected by your girlfriends, but most guys get nervous in front of an audience. Even if you are out with a friend, separate yourself every once and a while to approach a guy you like and say hi, or just to walk past him. A guy might like you but not want to interrupt you and your friend's gab session.

15) Be Gentle - Treat guys gently and other guys will notice you. If you're at a party or a dance and someone you're not interested in approaches you and flirts - be nice. Let him down easy, instead of blowing him out of the water, laughing or otherwise embarrassing him. You could even help him get talking to one of your friends, who might be more interested in him. Trust us, the other guys - including the ones you like - are watching to see what you do. If you make this guy look like a jerk for approaching you, the others will be too intimidated to bother. (The exception: guys who act like jerks or make lewd sexual remarks to you. In this case, don't hesitate to tell the guy you're not interested, period, and you'd appreciate if he'd stay away from you forever).

16) Use Your Friends' Eyes - Get a friend to watch while you walk past a group of guys, then fill you in later on who checked you out. (Don't forget to return the favor!)

17) The Best Line is "Hello" - Don't try to come up with a super-clever plan for starting a conversation. The opening line that works best is still "Hello." After that, let the conversation flow naturally - tell him your name, talk about the surroundings, ask him a question, give a sincere compliment.

18) Have Fun - Everyone likes being around someone who doesn't take life too seriously. Be playful and light-hearted. Don't cover your mouth when you laugh. Let everyone see you enjoy having a good time!

19) Drop Hints - Give your crush some clues that you like him. There are many ways to do this. In a conversation with your crush, mention casually that you are not going out with anyone. Mention places you miss going to or a movie you really want to see. Talk about things you know both of you would like doing. The goal is to let your crush know that if they ask you out, you are available. (Don't be desperate though - keep it casual). By doing this, you also let him know what kinds of places you would enjoy going on a date (just in case he was wondering!).

20) Stay in His Line of Sight - Hang out where your crush does. Find ways to spend more time near him during school, after classes or after school. Join clubs he belongs to. Make friends with his sister. The more chances you make for him to notice you, the more likely he will. You'll also get more chances to flirt. Plus - bonus - he'll figure you guys have a lot in common if you're always hanging out in the same places.

21) Be Sweet - Go out of your way to find ways to be nice to the guy you like. Make room for him at your lunch table if the cafeteria is crowded. Help him with homework. If he's alone, get him to join you and your friends so he has company. Show him what a sweet, caring girl you are!

22) Don't Act Nervous - Don't let fear of rejection or bad experiences from the past make you paranoid about a conversation that's happening in the present. Try to relax and focus only on the person you are talking to. Remember that he is probably more nervous than you! If you have to, fake being perfectly at ease and it will turn into reality.

23) Don't Complain - Negativity is the enemy of flirting. When talking to your crush, don't whine about what's wrong with your life, how bad you look or how disappointed you are that you didn't make the school play. Instead, focus on something positive - what a nice day it is, how excited you are about an upcoming event, how glad you are that you two finally got a chance to talk. A positive attitude from you gives him the "welcome" sign - it lets him know that you're upbeat and happy around him, a big compliment. Don't get all giggly and silly, but it's nice to let a guy know that you find talking to him fun. He'll get an ego boost and he'll associate talking to you with a feel-good experience (so he'll come back for more!).

24) Don't Gossip - If you engage in gossip with a guy you like, you might leave the unfortunate impression that you gossip about everyone - including him. He's not going to open up to you if he thinks you're the kind of girl who'll be blabbing everything he says to the next person you talk to. In fact, guys often complain that girls gossip too much - it's a real turn-off for them. Have only nice things to say about others, and your crush will be impressed by your positive, friendly attitude.

25) Don't Take Flirting Too Seriously - The best flirts are girls who can do it without expecting anything to come of it. Guys love flirting with girls who seem like they could get anyone they want. Develop that attitude! Try to think of flirting as an enjoyable activity in itself, without always worrying about the final result. It's kind of like shopping - you can have fun cruising the mall and trying on clothes, even if you don't end up buying anything. Of course, your ultimate goal is to score "the perfect outfit" - but don't be in a rush, or you'll scare off guys by seeming desperate. Practice flirting with guys you aren't that interested in, and soon you'll be able to flirt with the guy you adore and still seem casual.

26) Laugh at His Jokes - If a guy is trying to make you laugh, it's a good sign that he might be interested in you. Don't forget to appreciate his effort! Don't be insincere and laugh at everything he says, or else he'll think you're a phony, or just brainless. Just don't be shy about laughing. If you naturally see the humor in his jokes, he'll enjoy being around you.

27) Play With Your Hair - Touching your hair while talking to a guy sends him the subconscious message that you're attracted to him - and you don't have to say a word. Twirl a piece of hair around your finger while talking to your crush, or pause every few minutes to slowly sweep your hair back off your face.

28) Leave Him Wanting More - The first few times you talk to a guy, be the first person to end the conversation. When you feel like it might be winding up, or after a few minutes of one-on-one talk, break away by smiling and saying "It was nice talking to you. I have to go meet up with (your friend's name) now." This makes you seem in demand, and not desperate to talk to him. Bonus: if you're a bit nervous about flirting with him, it takes the pressure off you to keep it going.

29) Don't Wait for Him to Flirt First - Teenaged guys are notoriously shy about talking to girls, even girls they like! Make the first move. Chances are, he'll appreciate not having to move first and be flattered that you want to talk to him. 95% of teen guys says they love it when a girl makes the first move.

30) Don't Be a Sleaze - A sure way to be a flirting flop is to act overly sexual by talking dirty or hinting at your vast experience with guys. Guys tend to divide girls into two categories - easy to get, and hard to get. Guess which ones they like more? If you seem ready for too much too soon, he'll think you are like that with everyone - not the impression you want to send the guy of your dreams. Be a little mysterious - flirt, show your interest by being friendly, but don't be overly obvious or offer more than you intend to give.

31) Don't Dwell on Your Performance - If you worry too much about what you're saying and how you're saying it, you'll seem distracted and not very interested in the person you're talking to. Instead of being wrapped up in yourself, focus your attention on the guy who's talking to you. Don't think ahead to what you're going to say next! Really listen to what he is saying and respond with thoughtful answers that show you've been listening.

32) Look, Look Away, Look Again - This is a flirty move that guys say they pick up strongly as a signal you're up for conversation with them. Throw a glance at a guy who interests you. Then, as soon as he turns to meet your look, immediately lower your eyes. Wait a second and then look back up at him and smile sweetly. He'll get the message!

33) Keep Your Body Language "Open" - Don't let your body language send signals you don't mean. Crossing your arms in front of you, tapping your foot, looking at your nails and looking over his shoulder - these are all things that guys interpret as meaning you're unapproachable, cold or bored of talking to them. Avoid sending the wrong signal by cutting out all fidgeting, nervous glances away and defensive postures (crossing the arms, leaning or facing away from him).

34) Be Glad to Meet Him - When you're introduced to a cute guy (at school, at church, at a party, at the mall), always repeat his name and ask him a question. (Example: "It's nice to meet you, Michael. Don't you sit at the back of my English class?")

35) "Leave" a Good Impression - When you're leaving a party or a group of people where you met a new guy, take a moment to go over and tell him you enjoyed meeting him. If you can't remember his name, use that as a reason to talk to him again before you leave!

36) Ask Open-Ended Questions - Try to avoid asking "yes/no" questions in conversations with guys. If they're nervous or not great at small talk, you'll end up with a one-word answer, and a stalled conversation. Instead, ask "open-ended" questions that begin with "What do you think about.." or "How did you feel when.." that encourage him to give you more detailed answers.

37) Don't Freak Over Pauses in Conversation - Everyone, no matter how confident they seem, gets nervous sometimes in social situations. Cut them - and yourself - some slack. Don't flip out if conversation seems awkward at first, especially if you don't even know each other that well. Just remember to keep up eye contact, smile and ask questions about him you really want to know. If you get too nervous to continue, excuse yourself and leave the flirting to another time when you're feeling more assured.

38) Check Your Voice - Are you talking at the speed of light, or droning on like a dental drill? A guy will get an opinion about whether you're interested from the tone of your voice. So keep it light and friendly, and don't talk super-fast.

39) Ask Him What He Enjoys Doing - Guys are flattered when you seem interested in them, and all people enjoy talking about themselves. Plus, while you and your girlfriends talk about your emotions, guys are much more "active" oriented. Asking a guy what he enjoys doing in his life will help you find out more about what makes him tick.

40) Don't Fake It - If a guy asks you questions about yourself (a sure sign he's interested, by the way!), don't come up with answers you think he wants to hear. There's no point playing a role when he'll just end up finding out later. Be proud of who you are and what you like doing.

41) Keep Your Answers Brief - It's nice when a guy asks you about yourself, so don't reward him by spending an hour going through the story of your life.You want to act interested and interesting, not like you've been waiting all your life for someone to ask you questions!

42) Twirl Something - From drinking straws to pencils to a necklace, twirling or fiddling with something shows you're a little nervous and excited, without making you seem twitchy. This is important for making a guy feel more comfortable with you, and less like a target. The movement also catches his eye and helps to hold his attention on you.

43) Express Interest - Show you're interested in something he does that he takes pride in - fixing up his car, a sport he plays, volunteer work he does, whatever. Do this by asking questions about it and paying attention to him when he answers. Don't let you eyes wander away when he's talking, or he'll assume you're bored and want to leave.

44) Use Your Surroundings - If walking up to a strange guy and saying "hello" seems like Mission Impossible, use your surroundings to give you an opening line that's normal, not cheesy. In a fast food place, ask the cute guy in line if he's tried a certain food (if it's any good), or ask him what's the best thing to order there. At a club, ask him if he knows who the singer is of a song that's playing, or ask him if it's always so crowded.
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Advanced flirting tips

Use "Mirroring" Body Language - "Mirroring" is a kind of unspoken communication, where you copy - or "mirror" - the other person's body language. So if he's got his arms crossed, you cross your arms too; if he runs his hand through his hair, you do the same. Don't do exactly everything he does, or you'll end up looking like a monkey! But by gracefully mirroring some of his gestures, his brain gets the subconscious message that you like him. This is a great trick for helping someone relax when you're flirting with them at a party.

Whisper - For advanced flirters, this is one of the all-time classic flirting tricks. When you're in a conversation with a guy, ask him if you can tell him a secret, then lean in to his ear and whisper a sincere compliment ("You have really good taste in clothes").

Drop It! - This one is so old-fashioned, your mom probably used it. There's a reason it's a classic though - this flirting staple hardly ever fails! Walk past a guy you like, making eye contact with him and giving him a nice smile. Then just when you're passing him, drop something (a book, your bag, whatever). If he's at all interested in you, he'll bend down to help you pick it up- and voila! There's your opportunity to start chatting.

Ask for His Help - Creating opportunities for your crush to "help" you will give him a confidence boost and make him feel more comfortable and assured around you. Pick something you're sure he's good at, like helping you practice a part in a play, showing you how to stretch before running, getting your car started, or solving a problem. Devious? Maybe- but it works!

Repeat His Name - Repeating a guy's name in conversation sends a message directly to his subconscious that you are interested in him. Don't go overboard ("Yes Billy, I agree, Billy, that the mall, Billy, is very fun, Billy!")!!! Saying his name a few times through the conversation is enough - and a very effective flirting technique.

Ask Questions that Show You "Get" Him - This is an advanced flirting move that, done right, can make a guy think you were made for him. The trick is to let him know you see something in him that no one else understands. To do that, you've got to guess how he sees himself inside, which is usually different from what everyone notices about him. So aim for complimenting the opposite. Is he a jock? Tell him how sensitive or spiritual he seems. Is he a dreamy, intellectual type? Tell him the first thing you noticed about him were his strong arms. Do this flirting maneuver right, and he'll be eating out of your hand!

Give the Head to Toe Look - When a guy you like is walking towards you or standing across the room, give him a look all over from head to toe. Then flash him your best smile! There's no mistaking this means you think he's fine all over.

Use the Over the Shoulder Look - If your crush is standing behind you, look over your shoulder- and smile at him. This flirtatious move is always a signal you are interested. (Trust us, he'll get the message!)

Have Something New To Do - At a party, be the girl who gets everyone involved in an activity (like dancing) or a game (like "Truth, Dare, Double Dare"). Guys like girls who take charge in social situations. You'll seem like a lot of fun by doing this. Plus, you get the chance to think up something that will bring you closer to your crush!

The Wink - At a party, in a group of people or even at school, look over at the guy you like, smile and give him a quick wink! Just be sure to follow the Primary Rule of Winking: W.O.O. ("Wink Only Once"). Winking once is a cute way to signal interest, and he'll go crazy wondering if you really did it - a good thing. But if you wink more than once, it looks like you got something stuck in your eye!

Give Him a Nickname - The goal of this flirting move is to create an inside joke between you and your crush. Inside jokes are great for creating a bond and making it easier to connect when you see him again. Does he drink a lot of cola? Call him "sodapop." Does he talk about his car constantly? Call him "hot rod." Make sure it's something flattering or funny, and don't call him anything you'd be embarrassed to say again when you see him in the hall.

Use Props - Props - interesting items that you carry with you - are great for starting conversations with cute guys. The best props are interesting enough that guys will not be able to help themselves from coming over to talk to you about them. Don't leave home without your props! Great props include a T-shirt with a funny message, a really funky pair of shoes, a fabulous scent, unusual sunglasses, bright neon lipstick or nail polish, interesting jewelry, a great hat, or a cool magazine or book.
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4 reasons why ur friends hate ur crush

1) Your friends hate your crush because... he is different from them.
Sometimes your friends have a set idea of what kind of guy you should date. For example, 15-year-old Kerry's friend's expected her to date a sporty guy, not a drama geek. When she went for an actorly type instead of a jock, her friends reacted by freezing him out. If this happens to you, realize you are dealing with snobbery. The same thing can happen in reverse and become "reverse snobbery", for example if a goth girl suddenly takes up with a popular preppy dude. If you think your friends are against your guy for superficial reasons, you need to set them straight. Kerry reminded her friends that even though her guy was different, he was still a nice person. She also reassured her friends that she wasn't going to abandon them for her new boyfriend's crowd. Kerry made a smart move by letting her friends know that they wil always come first. Once they realized their friend wasn't changing her personality, they became more relaxed about her dating someone "different."

2) Your friends hate your crush because... they are jealous.
Cindy, age 17, encountered this situation in her freshman year of high school. "I was crushing on Daniel from day one of high school," she says, "and my best friend Leila helped me follow him around and scheme about how to get him away from his girlfriend." But when their strategy worked and Daniel dumped his girlfriend to date Cindy, Leila suddenly became hostile to him. Cindy was confused and hurt by Leila's sudden anger. Then Cindy's mom pointed out that before she got Daniel, Cindy spent all her time with Leila. But now, Daniel was taking a lot of Cindy's time and attention. When she realized Leila was more lonely than hateful, Cindy was able to solve the problem easily. She spent more time with Leila, including starting a fitness program together, and included Leila on some of her outings with Daniel and his friends. Leila eventually hooked up with one of Daniel's buddies, and once she got her own guy she was much nicer to Cindy's boyfriend.

3) Your friends hate your crush because... they misunderstand him.
Maybe he has bad reputation, or his shyness is misread as a bad attitude. If you think your friends have the wrong idea about your boyfriend, it's time to correct that impression. That's what Michelle, age 17, did when her friends were dissing her crush last summer. "Kazuki is a listener who is very quiet by nature," she says. "I didn't know why my friends were being so mean to him. Later, I found out they thought he hated them, because he barely talked to them when we all went out!" Michelle's solution was to tell her friends funny stories about Kazuki being overly quiet in other situations, like meeting her parents or at a club. When they realized his silence was not about them, they gave him a chance. Eventually, he started talking more with Michelle's friends because he got comfortable enough to let his guard down.

4) Your friends hate your crush because... they have genuine concerns about him.
It's possible that your friends dislike your favorite dude because he is bad for you - and they know it. If the boy you are crushing on smokes, drinks, parties or is known for getting into trouble, your friends have reason to be genuinely concerned. If you know that's the case, ask them to spell out exactly what they are worried about. You will then have to give serious thought to their concerns and consider whether they are trying to save you from getting into serious trouble, or becoming someone you are not. Only you know for sure, since you know your crush best. You may decide your friends are right, and in that case you can talk to your crush (if you know him well enough) and tell him that he'll need to play it straight and narrow to win your heart. Or, you may decide your friends are over-reacting. If so, explain to them that you are a smart girl and you wouldn't act stupidly just because of peer pressure. Just remember, your friends want the best for you and their concerns are probably genuine.

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Shy gurls, Talk to ur crush!

Talk Trick #1: Relax, it's not so hard!
Talking to boys is really easy once you realize they are just people, no different from you or your friends. Of course, this can be hard to remember when you've spent all morning obsessing over his cute freckles and writing his name in all your notebooks. But think about it: boys are just kids. So when you see the boy you're crushing on, picture him doing something goofy and kid-like, like shopping with his mom. That will bring your image of him down to earth, making normal conversation so much easier.

Talk Trick #2: Realize he's nervous too.
Just like your mom says about spiders, boys are more scared of you than you are of them. Believe it or not, most teenage guys are more nervous than girls when it comes to talking and making a good impression. Guys (even the hot ones) think that girls see them as gross or weird. So just by making the effort to talk to him, you're giving him a reason to like you, you're showing he's worth your time. If you can make him feel at ease, he will be grateful and impressed.

Talk Trick #3: Start slow.
Don't walk up to a guy you barely know and blurt out your feelings or a complete history of your life since age three. When you want to start talking to a guy you're eyeing, the best approach is to take it slow. Start by giving him your best smile and saying "hi" whenever you walk past him. Don't worry that it looks weird, he'll think he talked to you and forget about it. Once he starts saying "hi" back, then you can move on to the next step, which is...

Talk Trick #4: The friendly comment.
Once he knows you exist, start building up a relationship with your crush by making a friendly comment whenever you see him. Since you don't know him, your comments should be general and cheerful. For example, you could smile and say "Only 2 months 'til March Break!" or give him a compliment by saying "Cool shoes, I love them!" He'll start looking forward to seeing you, and with any luck he will pick up on one of your comments and talk back... hey, that's actual conversation! Remember, walk slooowwwly past him or he won't have time to say anything back.

Talk Trick #5: Ask him a question.
If your crush doesn't take the bait and start talking back to you, it's time to ask him a question. Questions are excellent conversational tools because they pull people into conversation. Just make sure to ask open-ended questions - if you ask something that can be answered with a simple "yes" or "no", there's a risk that your talk will be over in seconds! Try asking him for directions (maybe he'll escort you where you're going), or if he's on the school football team, ask what a defensive quarterback is (say you heard the term on TV). When he answers, be sure to thank him and give him a big smile.

Talk Trick #6: Don't gush.
When a person is nervous, it's common to just blab and blab for the sake of keeping the conversation going. But a good conversationalist selects her words carefully. Guys get irritated when girls talk just for the sake of talking. If he barely knows you, he's not really interested in what your little sister did on the weekend, or what you dreamed about last night. Keep the conversation light and in the present. Also, avoid talking about ex-boyfriends, family or friend problems or anything else that's too heavy or negative. If you two get to know each other better, there's lots of time for sharing secrets then.

Talk Trick #7: Be a good listener.
By this point, you and your crush are probably having real, back-and-forth conversations. But what happens if the back-and-forth suddenly stops, and neither of you can think of anything to say? No problem, since you have read this article! When conversation stalls, just jump-start it by changing the subject and asking a question. Topics that two people can always find stuff to talk about includes what movies are out that look good, recent or upcoming vacation plans, opinions about a certain class or teacher, after-school jobs and pets, to name just a few. Remember, ask open-ended questions! For example, to avoid getting just a yes or no answer, try asking "What do you think of dogs for pets?" instead of "Do you have a dog?"

Talk Trick #8: Put the focus on him.
Girls who are truly great conversationalists have mastered this trick. It's about focusing on the other person's comfort level during a conversation. Think about it this way: if the conversation goes smoothly and he gets to talk about himself, he'll leave thinking you're fun and interesting to talk to. So, to make that happen, all you need to do it keep your focus on bringing him out. Don't worry about having something to say that's interesting. Just get him talking about himself - use questions to find out his favorite movie, what he's up to for the next school break or summer vacation, if he's involved in any after-school activities, if he is into playing or listening to music - and so on. Master this move, and you will be - and appear - very confident and together!
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Hook up w/ ur guy friend

Don’t just blurt out your feelings. Think about when and how you want to let him know how you feel. Usually, it’s much better to show a guy friend how you feel, by flirting and being sweet to him, than to tell him in words.

Find opportunities to do things you enjoy together. Since you’re already friends, you have some idea of what activities and events he is interested in. Sports (playing or watching), movies, video games, cooking, chess, photography, shopping - whatever floats your boat. Find ways to do things that you both like doing, together!

Show him you’re thinking about him on special occasions - and show him you remember what occasions are special to him. Send him a sweet e-card on his birthday. Buy him a chocolate heart when his team wins a big game. Thoughtful little notes and messages can show him a more romantic side of you, and get him thinking about you a little differently.

Give him a hint. When you and your crush/friend have five minutes alone, tell him you had a dream that you two were boyfriend and girlfriend. Say that the dream was really happy and felt so natural... and see what he says. If his reaction is negative (he says "as if" or "that's sick!"), then you know to back off. Save your pride - just laugh and say something like "I know, it was the stupidest dream!" But if he blushes, wants to hear more about the dream, laughs nervously or seems flattered by what you said, it's a sign he is open to the idea of dating you. In that case, say to him "maybe we should go on a date and see if I'm psychic or something." Hopefully, he'll say "great idea."

Check your local newspaper or 'zines for upcoming events you can attend together. Look for something he’ll be interested in - maybe a concert, a local fair, a book reading by an author he likes, and so on. Tell him you saw that (whatever the event is) is happening on a certain day and you thought he might want to go. Would he like to go with you? The trick is to make it sound like you're going to go anyway. This takes the pressure off of both of you to make it "a real date."

Take a chance on love. One of the biggest fears for many girls in asking out a friend is "ruining the relationship." Get over it. If he says no, do you really believe he won't be your friend anymore? If he’s your real friend, it might be weird if he says no, but he’ll most likely be flattered and get over the awkwardness. Besides if you never ask, you might never know if he felt the same but was too shy to say it! You should ask yourself honestly if you two would probably be better staying friends, or if your feelings are growing stronger with love and can’t be ignored. If you’re crushing hard enough, it’s worth the risk. Being casual about asking him out can help to avoid strange feelings later.

If he backs off and acts awkward after you ask him out, give him time to get over it. Distract yourself with other friends, and pick up your friendship again when he seems ready.

Don't feel bad or think you were stupid to ask him if he ends up saying no. You've been really gutsy to try it, which is quite cool. Plus you have let him know how you feel about him, honestly and openly, and that is never a bad thing. Now that he knows you like him, he’ll be thinking about you differently. Sometimes it takes some time for that to sink in... he could end up turning around and asking you out when he feels more ready!

Never, ever ask someone out more than twice if they say no. That will just makes your friend feel uncomfortable, and he’ll feel like you’re not listening to him. This can make it hard to go back to normal in the friendship.

Don’t tell everyone you’re going to ask him out. For one thing, if he says no, you have all those people to tell and that would be totally embarrassing. For another thing, you don’t want him to find out that everyone knew how you felt about him before he knew, because that cheapens the emotion. Tell your best friend, but until you know his answer, keep this situation pretty private.
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How to handle rejection :(

1) Your life was good before, and it will be good again. Once upon a time, you had even heard of the person who just crushed your hopes. There was a time when you couldn’t have cared less what they thought of you, or even if they thought of you at all. Think back to that time and try to remember exactly what not caring felt like. Try to feel it now. Even for a minute. Feels good, huh? Work on recapturing that feeling whenever you feel mopey.

2) Realize that this person, no matter how much you like him, is not going to reciprocate. You can't make a person love you. And you can drive yourself crazy trying.

3) Consider this: if he can’t see what’s special and cool and beautiful about you, what kind of person is he anyway? Not someone who gets you, it’s clear. Not someone who deserves you either. You want to feel secure and valuable in a relationship, right? Remember this.

4) At first, you’ll tell yourself he might give you another chance. Hmmm... yeah, maybe. It’s possible but not likely. When you reject someone, you usually mean it, and so does he. Don’t embarrass yourself by asking him out again, or chasing after him like a puppy. It will make him like you less. If you are meant to be, he’ll find you and ask you out. If he doesn’t, he meant what he said - he’s not interested.

5) Don’t try to change to be the person you think he wants you to be. It won’t work. You can’t be another person, and you can’t guess what he’s looking for. Besides, even if you changed your personality and looks and he did start to like you, he’d only like the fake you. You’d be miserable, knowing he didn’t like the true you, just your façade. Be you. If he doesn’t get it, forget it.

6) Pour your heart out to your friends or family, the people who accept and love you. They will understand your hurt and they will try to make you feel better. Let them cheer you up.

7) Get busy. Distract yourself by throwing yourself into your schoolwork, taking up a new hobby or learning a new sport. Get active and you’ll be too busy to dwell on what happened. This is really important. Dwelling is bad.

8) You will dwell a little (it’s bad, but it’s normal). You will get angry (also normal). Just try to make yourself snap out of it when you’ve been feeling negative for more than a few minutes. Call an upbeat friend, play an impossibly happy song that makes you want to dance, remind yourself of how much there is to be grateful for in your life.

9) Decide that you’re way better off without him, because it’s better this way. Make yourself believe it. Repeat it to yourself, a lot!

10) Keep your eyes open, ‘cause there are lots of adorable boys to crush on in this world. Developing a brand new crush on someone new might be just what you need to snap you out of your sadness!
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Questions to ask on or not on a date

TALK ABOUT SCHOOL

What do you think of (a teacher, a class)?

Who's your favorite teacher at our school? What makes them your favorite?

What do you think of schools that make the students wear uniforms?

What do you think our team's chances are this year? (football team, soccer team, swim team, etc.)

Do you do any after-school activities, like sports or clubs?

Prom seems to be a big deal at our school... do you think they're everything they are hyped to be?

Have you ever seen a TV show about high school that is anything like real life?

What do you and your friends do to kick back after school?

Do you plan on going to college someday? Do you know what you want to study at college? What colleges would you apply to? Do you know anyone who's at college? What's it like?

TALK ABOUT THE PLACE YOU ARE ON THE DATE

Have you ever been here (the movie theatre, coffee shop or other setting the two of you are in) before?

(At the movies:) What do you think they put in that buttery topping anyway?

(At the movies:) So have you seen any other of (the movie's star) films? Which ones? Which ones did you like or not like?

(At a restaurant:) Your sandwich looks really good, what's in it?

(At a coffee shop:) So what's the difference between cappuccino and frappuccino anyways?

TALK ABOUT THE GUY YOU'RE ON THE DATE WITH

Have you always lived in (name of your town or city)? How do you like it here? (Or if they say no:) Where did you live before this? What was it like there? How does this place compare with that one?

Do you ever wish you lived somewhere else?

Does the rest of your family live nearby? (Parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles?)

Do you get along well with your family?

What do you like most about this area?

Do you plan on staying here, or are you going to move away for/after college?

What kind of career are you interested in?

Have you visited the local (park, library, shopping center)? (Talk about the special attractions of your town.)

What do you do when you need to blow off stress?

TALK ABOUT LIKES AND DISLIKES

What kind of movies do you like? What is the worst movie you ever saw? Who is your favorite actor/actress? What do you like about them?

What is your favorite TV show? What is your least favorite?

Did you catch the Academy Awards, (or that new show, or the game, etc.) last night?

What kind of music do you enjoy? Who is your favorite performer/group/band? Who do you think is the hottest this year? Do you think they will still be next year? Who do you think is the most over-hyped?

Do you like to read? Who is your favorite author? What's the best book you've read recently?

Do you read magazines or comics? Which ones?

Do you belong to any local clubs or organizations? What do you like to do in your spare time? (hobbies, interests) How did you get involved in your hobby? What do you like most about it?

BRING UP HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS

If you could hang out with any celebrity for a whole day, which famous person would you choose?

If you knew you would be stranded on a desert island for a year, what three things would you bring with you?
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Ideas for great dates

Let's say you have found a person you would really like to go out with and you are ready to ask that person out on a date. You will immediately wonder, "What are we going to do on our date?" This question can be especially nerve-rattling on the first date, because you are trying to make a good first impression and you may not know what your crush likes to do. You definitely don't want to get stuck in one of those "What do you want to do?", "I don't know, what do you want to do?" conversations!

To avoid that scene, it is best to have a date activity in mind when you ask out your crush. A great activity that feels comfortable to both people can make a great first date. If you don't know each other or you're both shy, for example, you might choose a date activity such as seeing a movie, so you don't have to talk much. You can also earn "I'm impressed" points from a confident guy for coming up with a date idea that is really fun and creative. Try to get a sense of your crush before you ask them out, and then choose a date activity based on that.

THE BASIC DATES:
These aren't the most creative, but they are the most tested!

Go to a Movie: Inviting someone to a movie is fairly safe. It is probably the #1 first date. You can let your date choose the film, or have one in mind when you ask him out. You could also check out the "second-run" movie scene, especially if you live in a larger city. Most cities have a small theater that plays foreign or classic films, and some even run festivals of cartoons or funny TV commercials from around the world. Check your local newspaper's entertainment section to see what's available.

Go Out for Dinner: It's a classic date, but it's not as foolproof as it sounds. First, there's the opportunity for spilling things and not knowing you have cheese stuck in your teeth. Also, dinner out means that you are going to have to think of something to talk about for an hour or two, which can seem like a looooong time if the conversation stalls. If you decide on dinner for a first date, take the pressure off by making it a double date with a friend and her boyfriend.

Go to a Dance: High schools are always having dances, so you can invite your crush to go with you to one. Dances are great for getting close and cuddly with your crush, finding out if they have the same tastes in music and you, and hanging out in a sort of "clubby" environment. Plus, if things don't work out, you can join your friends at the other side of the room. Or you can just go in a group from the start.

SPORTY DATES:
If you and your date are athletic or outdoorsy, a sporty date can be a great way to spend time together. Just be sure to make it a date, not a competition! Some of these activities work well for two, others are better as part of a group. Consider these:

Sporty Dates for TWO:

Play tennis: Rent raquets and balls at a local community center or hit the public courts.

Go horse-back riding: Look in the local Yellow Pages to find stables that do trail rides.

Go rolling-blading: Rent blades if you don't have them and spend the day on a nice path... just be sure to wear your safety gear!

Nature walk: Check out the trails at local parks and bring along lunch in a backpack. Stop and have a picnic when you feel like a rest.

Running/Jogging: If you both work out regularly, why not team up!

Charity Walks/Bike Rides: Lots of charities have charity walks or rides. You and your date can collect money together and then go on the walk together. You'll feel great about yourselves, and each other!

Sporty Dates with a GROUP:

Go bowling: Play guys against girls, or compete couple against couple.

Roller-skating: Hit the local rink to rent skates and work your moves. Maybe you'll get to hold hands!

Miniature golf: Get him to "show you" how to putt, it's a good way to get his arms around you!

Ultimate Frisbee: All you need is a Frisbee, some friends and a park or lawn for fun.

CITY DATES:

Go to the Museum: Most cities and towns have museums: art museums, science museums, history museums, etc. If you and your crush like this sort of thing, a museum can be a great place to go on a date.

Visit the Zoo: If your town has a zoo, it can be a really fun place to go on a date. Figure out which animal your crush reminds you of!

Concerts: Besides blockbuster concert events, don't forget to check local listings for free or cheap summer concerts in your area, or see a local band at an all-ages show) Go to a Book/Poetry Reading: Bookstores and libraries often invite local authors in to do poetry or book-reading sessions. Check those places, or look in the newspaper, for times.

MORE OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES:

Star gazing: Get a book on constellations and invite your crush over for dinner at your house. After dinner, go outside and watch the stars and try to figure out where the contellations are. Romantic!

Amusement parks and water parks: These are great places for dates, because the wild activities get your adrenalin rushing and you feel adventurous. There are also lots of chances for grabbing your guy, on the water slide or in the haunted house!
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